Just feeling sad

It's been a long time since I blogged. Honestly I am overwhelm by emotions that's why I came back to this personal space of mine. Been so angry tonight and I think I am tearing apart. No it's not about friend, think there is a lill distance between my r/s and I am a disheartened by quite a few things. It's alrdy been 6 years! I know I need to give him time but honestly when exactly will be e right time? It's not that I desperate to hear e wedding bells. No. Its just that I feel that we need to move on to the nxt stage.. I was e one who encourage him To further his studies but at least let me see some lill effort put in to the nxt phrase. It's not a one dollar a Day kind of thing that will convince me that we will have a happy ending. I need more then that.. I need you to be more expressive more passionate more urge. Which is something that you will not usd. I know we have both been busy working an studying and I am sorry that I cannot rmb our 6 yrs anni till 2 days later but that was because I was flying across continents! Jet lag an stone diff.. But how could u forgot too? I know ur busy but still it hurts me quite alot to see that you don't really rmb it too. I was so eager to give u a surprise. To learn how to bake macaron to surprise u.. Bought u gifts.. But u? I know what u did in maldive was really sweet but honestly that was u family vacation not ours. I work my arse there just to spent the day with u which is a dream place that I always wanted to go with my beloved. It's just a bed nicely done up how can u call that a celebration? U said that I will nv be contented.. It's not that I am not contented but it's 6 yrs.. Should it e more than just that? It's getting a lill dull a lill stale and I wonder how long more it will take before everything crashes. I know u do alot of lill thing to make me Happy and maybe ur right.. I am just finding fault with u.. But have you thought why I keep finding fault with u? It's only because I love u so.. :,(